Government Waste

So obviously Rush Limbaugh is a big fat stupid idiot. But the Palm Beach County State Attorney and whoever else has investigated his drug use for 2 years. We all know he's a drug abuser. But dude, lots of people are. Isn't this a total waste of money and resources??? God, how annoying! And it must be really wasteful because I'm defending (in a way) Rush Limbaugh!!! Sigh. Where have our priorities gone?

Questions

-Why do people hate on TV when they're literally staring at poop in museums?
-Why does the UN refuse to declare Darfur genocide, but if you shave a terrorist's beard it's torture?
-Why do people talk about taxes when they should be talking about spending?
-Why do people refuse to discuss controversial topics?
-Why do people in America still insist that race is not an issue?
-Why does anyone in the world insist that race is not an issue?
-Why do we have high oil prices after getting an oil pipeline through Afghanistan and having control of Iraq?
-Why do financial reports list zip codes with percentage of million dollar homes when they should be comparing value/price per square foot of house and land rather than merely price of the house? Why do these reports include condos when some towns do not have one condo?
-Why do Southern states like Texas have the highest teenage pregancy rates when they pretend to be Christian and spend hundreds of millions of dollars of federal money on abstinence training?
-Why do people make fun of California when we have an earthquake or a mudslide when they have numerous tornadoes and hurricanes and floods every single year?
-Why do all people think they are depressed?
-Why do people force other people to stay alive when they're vegetables and braindead but refuse to endorse the research that would help these people?
-Why did nothing happen to the people in Enron and Worldcom who trashed our economy?
-Why do Americans still not understand a single thing about healthy eating and living?
-Why do sharks expand their exchange program?
-Why do people always seek to sue instead of taking responsibility for their own actions?

Adult ADD

So does anyone else think that adult ADD is just when somone is incapable and irresponsible and wants to blame their inabilities on some medical farce? Here are the signs:
Do you have difficulty concentrating or focusing your attention on one thing?
Do you often start multiple projects at the same time, but rarely finish them?
Do you have trouble with organization?
Do you procrastinate on projects that take a lot of attention to detail?
Do you have problems remembering appointments or obligations?
Do you have trouble staying seated during meetings or other activities?
Are you restless or fidgety?
Do you often lose or misplace things?
So if you're disorganized and incompetent, you just have ADD? That is SOO stupid! Take responsibility for your defects! Obviously, this is just some pharmaceutical company's ploy to make money, but people need to realize it's not some real biological problem. It's their own laziness! Wake up!!

(Additionally, the drugs give you trouble urinating?! So they paralyze you so much that you can't even pee??)

Mistakes

I'll make this one short and sweet. Mistakes are overrated. Everyone always talks about how you have to live and make mistakes. Why? Why are we supposed to make mistakes? How does that validate your life? What's wrong with living life without making any mistakes? Yes, we all make mistakes. But isn't the point to make as few mistakes as possible? Why do you have to try something to know you don't like it or to know it's bad for you? We're not talking about sushi here. I'm not saying you shouldn't try new foods. But I'm not about to wear burlap to find out whether or not it's uncomfortable and ugly--I know it's uncomfortable and ugly. For instance, not trying drugs does not make you a less person; it makes you a person who is smarter to begin with. Not wearing some trendy piece of crap does not make you less stylish or less in the know, it makes you a true understander of fashion and of yourself. You get the picture. Making mistakes is overrated.

Average Guy's Plea to Hot Guys

Something funny I found on Craigslist:

Dear Good-looking guys,

Thanks for ruining things for us average-looking guys. You, like all
men, will tag pretty much anything female. So you go out to bars and
other social venues and you go for the low-hanging fruit. You go for
the average-looking girl. Why? Because they are easy and don't give
you half the shit that hot women give.

So what's the big deal? The big deal is that average girls don't know
their place anymore. They suddenly think that they are hot just
because they have been banged by a hot guy. They are wrong, and they
do not know it. We average guys, however, do know it. We know that the
average girl -- in the long term -- is out of your league. We know
that she is in our league, the league of the average. But she does not
know that.

So the average girl goes on thinking she is hot and holding out for a
hot guy to spend the rest of her life with. Yes, it's great for the
ego of the average girl. She bangs a hot guy every now and then, and
she really thinks she is the shit. No one told her, though, that any
guy (hot or not) will bang any average girl. Sadly, the average women
develop this "I'll never settle" mentality. Average guys are suddenly
not an option for them, leaving us average guys out in the cold. The
genuine hot girls, of course, are not an option for us, so that leaves
us with the fat chicks. Thanks. Thanks a lot, hot guy. Meanwhile, the
really hot chicks are sitting around dissing us and waiting for you to
come talk to them. (And we can only imagine the torture that the fat
guys are going through as we average guys are forced to mack on their
women.)

So do the social scene a favor -- stick with your own kind. Leave the
average girls to us, and stop creating delusions of grandeur in their
minds. The average chick is our niche. We work hard enough as it is
for the average girl. Now you go work hard to bag the hot chick. Don't
be afraid of a little work.

When Will God Strike Down Tom DeLay?

Aaah the sensitivity of our legislators. Cheryl recently informed me how Mr. DeLay stood up during something or other and recited a Bible passage about sinful people all being overcome by water. At a more recent time, he informed us that good Christians build their houses on rocks and not by beaches.

Funny, I never knew that being a good Christian rested on whether or not you are an architect. So I guess we should tell our 50th state to evacuate or they're all heathens? (Which they probably are since the majority are tanned folk!) And you little fools in Asia deserved the tsunami! I hope another one's coming at you!!

So to Mr. DeLay, I say--obviously, you've never lived by the beach.

P.S. What about the floods that ruin towns and kill people all along the Mississippi? What about the hurricanes that ruin all of Florida? What about the tornadoes that strike the midwest?

2 Universal Truths About The Sexes

You can't trust a girl who has no girl friends.

You can't date a guy who has no guy friends. (You can technically, but one day he is going to come out of the closet.)

Sucker No More

Well maybe just one more time...

Season 3 of The Bachelorette. The usual suspects of tools, forced sincerity, and kiss on the cheek etiquette. But that's not why I'm watching it this season. One word...basketball!! Yes, watching guys playing sports is seeing guys in their most perfect state. There are some major hotties in this season. Mainly hot blond art gallery director from LA (I'm talking Michael Vartan hot) and hot 25 year old real estate investor from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma with wonderful dark brunette hair who reminds me of David from Real World Seattle and some guy from Cornell whose name I can't remember. AND we get to watch them in all their high flying sweaty bravado without their shirts on! I'm getting out my champagne flutes to toast TV producers brilliance in exploitation. I love you guys! Thanks for finally giving us what we want (and extra kudos to VH1's new pop culture adult ADD producers).

Drool aside, one thing in the season preview stuck in my head. A snip showed the last episode when Jen holds out what looks like a female engagement ring, diamonds and all. Now, if she is supposed to propose to a guy, why would she propose with a diamond ring? Guys don't want a diamond ring, much less a girly one. The only thing I can think is that she tells the guy she's chosen him and then gives him the ring to propose to her? That's a bit confusing for the one dimensional world of reality love TV, though. Regardless, if I were proposing to a guy (and assuming I had a TV budget), I would have a Porsche with me, not a diamond ring. Dude, I'd rather have a Porsche than a diamond ring.